Seriously, Baseball Bats?
by blackcat1242
Summary: I wrote this after I saw the movie, thinking that it'd be interesting to see what happened before Hannibal and BA rescue Face in the desert in Mexico  I do not own the A-Team or any of its chcaracters in any way
1. Lt Faceman Peck

**Note- ** This is a story that I felt inclined to write after seeing the A-Team in theaters. This scene takes place a few hours before Hannibal and BA rescue Face from the desert. Hope you like it.

**Face**

I am brought to consciousness when somebody slaps me across the face. _Hard_. I reach up to rub my cheek, discovering that I can't move my arms. Or my torso. _Or _my legs. The first thing I notice when I open my eyes is the desert. It's dry and bare. And if the beautiful weather keeps up, my face will soon be melting off.

The _second _thing I notice is the ugly creep standing in front of me. He has this odd mustache thing on his upper lip, and is looking at me intently. He smiles slowly, and looks at the man behind him.

"He's awake " he screams, and about seven other Mexicans come out of a barn to the right of me. The barn is kind of beat down, and the paint is crusting off.

"That bitch must've been tired," says a man holding a bat. Fuck. What's up with people and baseball bats?

"He had to have been tired if he was banging Paulo's wife " he screams back, and the entire place erupts with laughter. I can't help smiling. I'm _so _good.

The laughter dies out when a man who I'm assuming is Paulo walks out. He looks pissed. I let a snicker pass through my lips. His eyes dart to my face, and he approaches me slowly. It's not until he kicks the leg of the chair I'm sitting on that I realize why I can't move. Stupid bastards tied me to a chair. Naked other than the robe I'm wearing. Oh, haha, funny, they tied me to the chair with my _clothes_.

Paulo holds out his hand behind him, and the man with the bat tosses it to him. I let my head loll to the side, and exhale noisily.

"Come on man, you're gonna beat me to death with a _bat_? That's not very creative. How about, let's say, a cow? Well, no, I don't see any cows around here, but I'm sure it would hurt just as much if you threw fat bastard over there at me," I say, nodding to a man who has quite an impressive keg hanging over his belt. The bat raises, and my nerves get to me, making me laugh before the bat even makes contact with my jaw.

When the bat connects with my jaw, the impact knocks my head to the left, and I smile broadly.

"That was a good one. That was a _really _good one. Good job. But swing a little harder this time or I won't enjoy it as much," I wink at him, making him clench his jaw. He inhales deeply, as if concentrating, and swings again. At this point I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Paulo's a big guy, tall, built. You know, the ideal macho man. He hasn't said anything since I've met him, but when he does, my jaw drops to the ground.

"You stupid bitch. I can't believe you were screwing my _wife_," he says, and his voice is so high that I'm stunned for a moment, and then I burst into hysterics.

"You…you have…oh Christ! I can't even…..good Lord…you have a _beautiful _voice!" I say in between chokes of laughter.

Red creeps up his neck and his eyes go wide with fury. The bat lifts again, and this time when it comes down, it connects with my cheek bone. Luckily I'm smiling, so it cushions the blow… a little…

"Oh," I snicker, "that was awesome. Oh man, that _hurt_," I say, laughing hysterically.

"Hmm," he grunts, and the bat lifts once again. I cringe inwardly, but smile broadly.

**I hope that you enjoyed! Please review! Thanks.**

**~Aub**


	2. HM Murdock

**Murdock**

"Docta! Docta!" I yell, standing Captain Morgan style on my bed. I feel that I look quite impressive in this lab coat. I feel like a propa' docta'. Haha, I like it. _Propa' Docta',_ I think hopping off my bed, and dropping to the ground.

Mission Impossible theme in my head, I Army crawl throughout my room. I hear a creak in the wooden floor and automatically jump to my feet. "Mister Murdock?" I hear, and run to my closet. This'll throw him. I smile.

"Mister Murdock sir? Are you in here?" The footsteps have now reached my room, and I start to giggle. _Giggle, _I repeat in my head. I _love _that word. It sounds very… sinister. Yes, that's it, sinister. Eww, this closet smells putrid. What _is _that? It smells _nasty_. Ugh.

There's a sigh of frustration, and then the footsteps leave the room. I fling the closet door open, and hit the Captain Morgan stance again. Taking off the sticky things they put on my head, I walk through the hallway, doctor's coat on. A lady with bright red hair passes me, smiling.

"Hello, ma'am. How're you?" I ask, thick country accent. Even though we're in…uh…oh, hell. I don't even know where I am! Well, that's half the fun.

I walk into an operating room, and there's a big dark guy sitting on the bed. He's kinda' scary lookin'. He glares at me.

"Hey, Doc, you think you can fix me up?" he asks, glaring still. I look around for the doctor. Nobody else is in here. Then I look down at myself, realizing I'm still wearing the doctor's coat. I smile.

"Absolutely." Another man walks into the room. He's tall, good looking, serious. I pout at him, until he notices. His double take is well performed. His glare is perfect. He's had a lot of practice.

I deepen my pout, bottom lip jutting out. "Yes?" he asks politely, but there's an undertone of annoyance. I shake my head at him, and turn my attention to the big guy.

"Egg sandwich!" I remember now! That's what was making my closet smell so funny. I had an egg sandwich a couple months ago, that must've been it. I shake my head and laugh, working on the wound the big man has pointed me to. I've never done this before. Boy this is fun, though! The lightning bolt, in my opinion, is quite impressive.

The good-looking guy walks over to the big man and a look of confusion crosses over his face.

"Something smells like gasoline…what is that?" I follow the scent and it leads me to the good-looking one. "Is that you?"

"BA, did you ask for a lightning bolt?" he asks.

"What? No!" screams the big one.

It _still _smells like gas. I light a match and walk to the good looking one. My nostrils are directing me to his right arm. I lay the match over his T-Shirt, and it catches fire.

"It _is _you!" I yell excitedly.

He lifts his arm slowly, observing, and then he freaks out. He starts smacking his arm, and waving it around everywhere. This is awesome! The big man is yelling and the good-looking one is yelling, and I'm laughing. One exclamation in particular catches my attention.

"Are you _crazy_!" the good-looking ones screams.

I giggle, and start. "Well—" but I'm cut off. We're standing in the hallway now, and then another big guy walks over. He's all calm. He _radiates _authority.

"Hannibal!" scream the bug guy and the good-looking guy. Then all hell breaks loose.

People are jumping all over me, screaming at me. It's kind of exciting. I start laughing.

"Stop! STOP!" screams Mr. Authority Man.

"Mr. Murdock, you've been released into our custody," he says, and I swear my feet come off the ground. This is _awesome_!


End file.
